The last week has been a time of stillness and presence. Standing still and gentle reminders of that everything has its own time. With the year nearing its end I have been thinking a lot about the year we are still living, how much has happened. How much it has given, taught and guided. I have also been gazing into the future, wondering a bit what the coming year might bring with it. I have been thinking about what I would want, long for, wondering what the world has to offer.
I have been looking at this moment, myself, where I am and what I am doing. Looking at the things I wish for and found myself asking what stops me from fulfilling my wishes here and now? What stands in the way of my dreams in this moment? And slowly I have found myself doing more and more of the things I dream of. I have found myself choosing my dream life, as much of it as it is possible to live right now.
On several mornings I have awoken to dark clouds and a persistent rain, the rhythm of the days seems to have dissolved when the sun does not grace us with its presence. My mind often feels foggy, like it would not fully awake in the midst of the dark winter. So, I have found myself moving, the movement of the body seems to wake up the mind too. When the body moves it is as if energy again floats with warmth, waking one up to this moment, reminding that we are alive even in the darkest time of the year. My breakfast plates are filled with tropical fruits and my morning meditations are getting longer each morning.
Ideas are coming at a fast pace. I find myself planning courses, painting with a fire, feeling, letting everything that roams in me out through the strokes of the paintbrush. I get excited and let ideas float, fly. I grab them and save them for later, it is not their time yet. Maybe when the new year arrives, maybe when summer greets us with its warmth. But, right now it seems to be more of a time for creativity and ideas rather than a time of implementation and fulfilment.
Even though the season is dark I find myself often excited, hyped for life and its adventures. New opportunities seem to pop up at the most unexpected places. I wonder what all this will bring. I wonder what all will bloom after this hibernation. I wonder, and I let go, a white canvas is calling, and words are demanding to be put on paper. It is again a time to create, to be present. Because that is what creating is for me, presence in its purest form.