Sometimes I wish I could fit in a box

”Some people love you only if you fit in their box… Do not be afraid to disappoint them.”

I ran into this quote on Hidasta Elämää’s Instagram account. I silently heard an echo of a wish in my mind, a wish of being able to be a box person, that I also could put people, events and experiences into boxes and live happily like this. A wish that I would not always see the big picture or understand the reasons behind other people’s actions, reasons they themselves cannot yet fathom. A wish that I would not always feel so much or be in a wholehearted search for something divine in this mundane world. A wish that I also could become part of the mundane.

Instead, my heart beats for life and love. I walk along rainbows, following the light, even when I cannot comprehend why. When my heart beats for something I do not hesitate, I give space for the change or decision. Trusting the earth beneath my feet I step into what is calling. Fully and without a doubt.

Instead, I do not see people around me, but I see their wholeness. I feel their energy vibrate, how their lifelines are making a web around them. I notice when their words do not match their entirety, I feel their pain in my skin, their suffering, joy and happiness.

Instead, I say I love you, even though I know you cannot echo my love in this moment. Instead, I tell you I choose you, even though I know that you are not able to choose me right now. I stand alone with my love and feel how your energy takes me into its arms while you turn your back to me.

Instead, I understand. I understand the world we live in. Sometimes I float down to humanity only to notice how suffocated I feel, how my life force runs out, how bad I feel when I am not fully living. I step into my wholeness and notice how few can understand, I notice how mundane the world we live in is. How little of our potential is in use. How little we allow love and light into life. How locked we are. I understand that boxes are easy, how simple life must be with them.

In the midst of all this, life dances in my soul, magic streams in my veins and love floats in my being. I explode out of joy when I meet you, with whom my soul dances, even if our dance would only be temporary. I grieve when it is time for the last step yet hope lives within me. Hope that one day more of us will let go of our boxes, that more of us will step into our whole power. Surrender to the wholeness, allow life in balance with the soul.

A hope, hope of being able to say I love you and our love becomes one. A hope that we use our energy consciously and face the world as healing, whole and loving creatures. As the creatures that we are. A hope that all masks fall and eyes are opened to see the reality that we live in.

Even if I sometimes find myself wishing for boxes I still would not change my world away. Not the wonderful life that I am entitled to live and experience. I step into myself, the love that floats in all of us, in this enormous adventure that our life is. Because magic runs in my veins, my heart beats for life and with the eyes of my soul, I can see the world of love that is waiting for us.

With love,
Ida

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